oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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