Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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