He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
