Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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