Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
