Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize
