That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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