i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Randomize
