i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
