Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
