I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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