Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
