sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
