I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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