names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
