Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Randomize