My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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