I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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