normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
