i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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