Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
