Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
