You just made me feel so damn special
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
