somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize