Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
