I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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