I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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