Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
