I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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