What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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