Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
