what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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