forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
