I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
