I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
