Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
