He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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