What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
