My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Randomize
