Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
YAS. BRING CRAB.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
