It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
