he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
