woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Did you just see the Batmobile???
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
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