Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize