question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Farmville is her only friend.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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