What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
ugly people sure do ruin things
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I believe in your delicious
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
