I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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