The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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