Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
