Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
