i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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