I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I love having hate sex.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
