piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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