If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize