The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
