I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Randomize
