I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Randomize
